Given the American fascination with gun rights and the continuing ingenuity and salesmanship of the gun manufacturing industry, it was inevitable that the extreme NRA obsession with bearing arms would extend to potato guns. Let’s review the history of the potato gun and its rapid evolution into the assault weapons of today.

Here you have the basic potato gun – the one we all grew up with:

A:  Firing Hole
B-G:  Various Pieces of Pipe
H:  Glue or Thread Compound
I:  Sack of Potatoes
J:  Hair Spray (Propellant)
K-M:  Tools Needed for Construction

And the end product would always look something like this – crude but effective – the basic Spudder.

But now, thanks to our obsession and technological prowess, the lowly potato gun has evolved into various versions of deadly assault weapons. Here are just a few in the modern arsenal.

The Idahoan
Launches very large potatoes

The Jet Ski Buster
With improved accuracy

The Rapidos
It’s raining potatoes!

Potato Cannon
Requires steroid-infused potatoes

Potato Rail Gun
For over-the-horizon targets

ICBPM  (coming soon)
Intercontinental Ballistic Potato Missile (with MIRV)
 
 

For concealed weapons advocates, to my knowledge, no handheld potato gun is on the market, but I’m sure one is on the way. The ammo is particularly difficut to hide.

Gun-rights proponents can indeed rest easy. Even the lowly potato gun is now protected by the U.S. Constitution and the unlimited power of the National Rifle Association.